Readers of this blog will be familiar with the photographs and tweets from my friend Joyce Smith and the thoughts they inspired.
I am saddened to hear, today, of Joyce’s sudden death yesterday. It is a deep shock. Joyce and I have been friends for 20 years and worked together in ministry for a lot of that time.
As well as a personal friend she was someone who held a lot of people in love and prayer and gave support to so many. People mattered to her and her heart was open for those who needed a friend. She touched people who others might have missed. This was especially true in the places where she ministered as a priest in the Church of England. There will be a lot of grieving hearts in Ninefields, Waltham Abbey and the Diocese of Chelmsford.
For me she was an icon of what Christian vocation is about. God was at the centre of her life and she reflected God’s love to others; she was selfless in her Christian service; she represented the Gospel and she did her utmost to lead people ‘safely to heaven’. There was nothing about her that was self-serving but there was a great deal about sacrifice. Sometimes she felt the need to guide people with a certain toughness and forthright speech but kindness and gentleness were always flowing underneath.
She encouraged so many of us. For me, she was a true friend.
Her love of creation was evident in the photos she took of birds and nature and the short reflections she chose. During the first lock-down she posted extracts from the Psalms with thoughtful photos. Afterwards she began her ‘photo-tweets’ which became regular items on this blog. Many of us enjoyed these. Her love of puffins became so obvious and she would often go to Northumbria and other places where puffins would greet her. We benefited from this.
Some also benefited from her booklets of reflections for the Advent & Christmas Season and for Lent & Easter. This Holy Week, she wrote a story based on the donkey of Palm Sunday which she dedicated to the children of Ninefields School, who all received a copy. I was hoping for more to come! She had such a beautiful way of expressing the sometimes inexpressible.
Earlier this afternoon, my friend Lynn Hurry (who befriends the fox cubs, and takes the photos many of us enjoy!) wrote to me:
“Dear Joyce, Such a lovely soul. She noticed and rejoiced and glowed at so much beauty in this life… and boy will she be shocked and amazed at all she will see in heaven … she will be dying to share it all with Geoffrey for his blogs!”
The photo of the Puffin was taken a few weeks ago, but for some reason I held back from posting it. Its feet are firmly on rock but its face is turned in contemplation of something beyond and in the distance. The quotation is from the poet, Rumi, love of whose poems Joyce and I shared. Reading it I know now why I held the photo back. Joyce lived a life that was balanced between earth and heaven and saw both as a reflection of God. Now she has let go of one to fully embrace the other.
Last weekend, I met up with some friends at an art exhibition near Oxford. It was an interesting gathering. Though we were all connected by friendship, for some it was a meeting after a number of years of absence (in one case it was a physical meeting after almost 30 years). Three were meeting for the first time but they had become connected by the friendship each had with others in the group. It was a joyous occasion as each met around the common factor of amazing art.
On the way home I thought how lovely it had all been and how real relationships both withstand absences and are also quickly renewed. It is through relationships that we grow in love, understanding, a feeling of our worth, and joy. Friendship is one of the most important relationships which we share with so many but the deep friendships are often with only a few. What might the qualities of such friendships be.
I love what Kahil Gibran, in his book of meditations, The Prophet, says of this.
And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship. And he answered, saying: Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.” And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery us not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
From The Prophet (Knopf, 1923). This poem is in the public domain
(for ‘he’ substitute ‘she’ as appropriate. He wrote this is a different age!)
There are different kinds of friendship. One I have really valued is known as Soul Friendship and it is about talking to another about God and about our personal relationship with God. Soul-friends share a deep intimacy and love for each other’s wisdom and, of course, their relationship is totally God-centred.
Whilst using a soul-friend is a way of helping a person to find peace within themselves, peace and harmony with others and with creation, this is not its main aim – essentially it was about seeking a deeper relationship with God. As St Teresa of Avila once said: Prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God. A Soul Friend is therefore one who can walk with us as we seek to grow that prayerful friendship.
Jesus called us his friends and he, through the Holy Spirit is our true and closest Soul Friend. (see John 15: 12-17) Our friendship with God defines all our other friendships and one who understood this more than most is St Aelred of Rievaulx, who wrote about Spiritual Friendship. Drawing on the work of Cicero and shot through with his faith and friendship with God, we can learn much about what it means when Jesus calls us His friends.
Almighty God, who endowed Aelred the abbot with the gift of Christian friendship and the wisdom to lead others in the way of holiness: grant to your people that same spirit of mutual affection, so that, in loving one another, we may know the love of Christ and rejoice in the eternal possession of your supreme goodness; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever.
The painting above is by a Ukrainian Contemporary artist, Olesya Hudyma and is titled ‘Woman with Dove Angel of Peace’. It is available to download digitally to help fund her work in Ukraine. It has been painted as a prayer in this time of warfare in her country.
She began painting in 2007 and she is self taught
Speaking about her artworks, she says that they have an emotionally evocative style of painting which is characterized by an opulent colour palette and the texture of her work.
“All the paintings are imbued with emotions and special images, outlined by quick brushstrokes. According to the topics, the paintings are systematized in series: «Sleepwalker», «Steps», «Angels of Peace for Ukraine», «Ukrainian Madonna», «Flowers» that are combined in different artistic ways : abstract art, expressionism, symbolism, magic realism and contemporary postmodernism. “
She also says of her work; “I love that state of clarity which is like a prayer. All the noise, emotions, and thoughts calm down and I melt into the world full of colours and fantastic flowers.”
Her artworks are in private collections in Ukraine, United States, Canada, Armenia, England, France, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, Poland.
In August 2018 Ukrainian Postal Service issued a postage stamp with O. Hudyma’s picture «Bride», as a part of «Love is Life» series. Another picture «Tree of Life» was used for a First Day Cover.
You can see more about her and her work by going to her website:
We pray for the people of Ukraine. We pray for peace and the laying down of weapons. We pray for all those who fear for tomorrow, that your Spirit of comfort would draw near to them. We pray for those with power over war or peace, for wisdom, discernment and compassion to guide their decisions. Above all, we pray for all your precious children, at risk and in fear, that you would hold and protect them. We pray in the name of Jesus, the Prince of Peace.
A Reflection on “Love one another” (The Gospel of John 13: 34-35) from Malcolm Green
I recently came across this story which, coming as it does from a reliable source, I believe to be true.
This all took place in a small village in France in 1943. The village was occupied by the Germans, but the local people felt sorry for these enemy soldiers. They were young men, far from home, on short rations, and quite probably conscripts, so we could say that like some many others of the time: they were reluctant participants in a gruesome and horrific war. In an attempt to try and help these young men, each day the local priest would go from door to door with two large baskets asking for food for them. The villagers responded with sharing what they could – a few eggs, perhaps, or some bread and vegetables. Then one day the local resistance movement blew up a strategic bridge. The commander of the occupying forces demanded reprisals and ordered that every man in the village between the ages of sixteen and sixty-five be taken to the village square. There, in front of family and friends – wives, mothers, girlfriends, sisters and their own children, they were shot. Besides themselves with grief, anger and torment, the villagers turned on the priest: “If you come again asking for food for these murderers, we shall kill you.”
On the day of the funerals the little church was overflowing, because every family in the village had lost someone. The old priest stood up and read from John’s Gospel , “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples.” Later that day the priest stood in the village square – totally amazed and with tears in his eyes – as he watched the local people filling the baskets he had placed at his feet, with food to feed the enemy soldiers.
Now when I read that story of an event that took place in 1943, I couldn’t help but think of the atrocities happening in the small town of Bucha, and elsewhere in Ukraine today. We read the stories, and we see the pictures, but I don’t think any of us have an idea of what it’s like witnessing the realities of these kind of situations. If I’m totally honest, I can’t even begin to imagine how I would be able to start knowing how to love someone who had caused me such indescribable pain and hurt. And for me it doesn’t even have to go to such extremes for me to be tested. People can say things, do things – or not do things – and they can grate. It’s not easy to love someone who rubs you up the wrong way!
“Love one another as I have loved you” This most simple-sounding commandment is probably the most difficult to carry out. Yes, it’s easy to just nod your head and agree it’s a very good commandment. It’s fairly easy to recognise the wisdom of it. However, it requires a great deal of courage to put it into practice, and let’s not forget, it cost Christ his life.
Jesus died because he continued to remain true to this fundamental precept – this fundamental way of being – the very essence of what God is all about – to love each and every one of us, whoever we are, and no matter what we might or might not have done – regardless of how, or even if, we respond to him. Jesus was hated and treated unjustly by his enemies and yet he still loved them. Not an emotional or sentimental love, but a love that understands them. A love that is prepared to absorb the fear which made them react against him. He loved them out of his concern for their well-being, in spite of their actions. He loved them by recognising the basic humanity of each one which makes them precious in God’s eyes. And loving one another as Jesus loves us is the calling of the Christian. By the time the Apostles had begun the work of carrying on Jesus’ mission they had come to understand that Jesus is for everyone – not just a select few who believed they were the chosen ones.
It’s interesting that we tend to think of the Inclusive Church organisation as a fairly recent initiative. In fact, the early Church were inclusive from the very beginning! Like those early Christians, we believe in a church that celebrates and affirms every person, and does not discriminate. The enthusiasm of the early Church in the Acts of the Apostles speaks of the generosity of those followers who dedicated their lives to spreading this universal message of love and forgiveness. And if we have any concerns about not being good because we find it difficult to love everyone equally, no matter our best intentions and how much we try, we can be reassured in that Jesus did not say it would be easy. Jesus simply set out how important and necessary it is for us to keep at the front of our minds the commandment to love, and to use our very best endeavours to try and achieve that. We should be praying for those we find it hardest to love, and we should be asking for God’s blessing on them as well as on us.
In loving each other in the same way that Jesus loves us, it is the only way in which the world can come to reflect the kingdom of God – and after all – isn’t that something we often pray for – thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven?
We may think that what we might consider to be our meagre efforts in showing Jesus’ inclusive love will make no difference, that it will pass by unnoticed. But it is in the struggle to love that we draw closest to Jesus and, together with him, we may affect our world more than we think possible. Let’s not underestimate God!
Our present society would often have us believe that it is easy to love. But that is a different “brand” of love from Jesus’. To love like Jesus is to surrender our own needs and desires to make space for, and to ensure that, the needs and desires of others are met, regardless of whether or not they are considered “worthy” by our own standards. Remembering always that we too, despite our own failings, are precious to God, is a gift worth giving. For, ‘God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that we should have eternal life’. As children of the same God, should we not also surrender ourselves in love to the needs of others?
This is the challenge of the Gospel, both simple and profound. It is as fresh a call today as it was when it came from the lips of Jesus: “Love one another… just as I have loved you.”
And let us not be concerned or fearful of the reaction we may receive, for remember – he’s always walking alongside us, to the end of the age.
The Revd Malcolm Green is a member of the Ministry Team at St. Mary-at-Latton, Harlow
Mr G's Ponderings 